Temper: When You Lose It, You Lose a Lot More

Losing your temper may feel like a release in the moment, but in the long run there's a lot more at stake. In addition to damaging your body, chronic uncontrolled anger damages your relationships and your quality of life. When you think about what triggers your out-of-control anger, you'll probably find that your triggers are people or situations that you are trying to control in order to get something you need or want. Because you cannot control what another person says or does, and often cannot control the outcome of certain situations, you are wasting energy that will eventually run out. When this happens, you feel even more frustrated. At the same time, you push your family and friends away, because no one likes to be controlled. When you push people away, they're not inclined to listen to you or to give you what you need or want.

The next time you feel like exploding in anger, stop and ask yourself who or what you're trying to control. See if you can avoid playing the role of a Controller and instead find a way to ask directly for what it is you need or want. By doing this you may gain a lot more than you would otherwise lose.