Whatever uncomfortable feeling you may be experiencing -- anger, sadness, disappointment, hurt, rejection -- telling yourself not to feel that way won't help at all. Tell yourself not to feel hurt, and you'll continue to feel hurt. Tell yourself not to feel rejected, and you'll continue to feel rejected.
The key to changing your feelings is to change your thoughts about a particular situation. When your thoughts change, your feelings will shift. For example, suppose a friend declines an invitation to go somewhere with you, and you feel hurt and rejected. Take a look at the thoughts that are causing you to feel that way. Perhaps you're telling yourself, "If she were really my friend, she'd go with me no matter what" or "I guess she thinks that doing things with other people is more important than spending time with me." These are irrational thoughts that you've concocted in your mind. If you challenge these irrational thoughts with thoughts like, "Next time I'll give her more notice when I want her to go somewhere with me," your hurt and rejection will most likely fade. You'll feel more confident and in control because you've developed a plan of action for the future.
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