You may find that you neither act aggressively nor express your anger directly. If so, you may be acting passive aggressively. In passive-aggressive behavior, a person tries to appear to agree with the wishes or demands of others but, in fact, passively defies them. This passive defiance is a form of aggression, hence the term passive aggression.
People can become extremely skilled at expressing anger in this way. They may be hurt, but they don't ever talk about their hurt. Instead, they focus on everything that's wrong with the situation, the other person or the relationship, still remaining silent about their feelings. Because they do not express straightforwardly how they feel, they never get what they really need -- another person to acknowledge what they are feeling.
Sometimes people become passive-aggressive because they fear others' reactions to their direct expressions of anger and they want to "keep the peace." Time and time again they keep their disappointments, irritations, frustrations and stress to themselves. Eventually they begin to pout, criticize or stonewall the people around them -- typical passive aggressive behaviors. If this sounds like you, keep in mind that, while you may avoid direct confrontation in the present, in the long run passive aggression can ruin a relationship.
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