Wanting It Now

We've all witnessed the familiar scene in a mall, a supermarket, and especially in toy stores: a parent trying to deal with a child who is throwing a tantrum because he or she has seen something that they want NOW. The child cries, screams, possibly rolls on the floor. The parent applies every technique he or she can think of to curtail the acting out and subdue the child. Sometimes a parent is lucky, and hits on just the right strategy to enable the shopping trip to continue. Other times a parent must carry the child, kicking and screaming, outdoors and into the car. Shopping trip aborted. Unfortunately, there are also times when a parent gives in just for the sake of sanity.

When adults' anger is caused by a loss or disappointment, adults can become like this tantrumming child. They know what they want, they know how things should be, or they know what another person was supposed to do or say but didn't. Those expectations of others will get us every time. Of course, most people agree that they can't make another person do anything that they don't want to do. They know that on a rational level. However, on an emotional level the feeling of helplessness over not being able to get one's way can lead to anger and an adult-sized tantrum.