Owning Your Angry Responses

One of the most important components of anger management is accountability. You may say, "He made me so mad!" or "She did that because she wanted to get me riled up." It may be true that he said or did something that triggered your anger, but you made the decision about how to respond. It may be true (or not true) that she wanted to get your goat, but it was your perception of her and the situation that triggered your anger, and subsequently you chose to respond in the way that you did. Taking responsibility for your responses and their consequences creates a filter between what you are feeling and thinking and what you say or do. If you frequently feel regret or remorse over your words or behavior after an angry exchange, think about your most recent experience with anger. At what point did you relinquish responsibility for your actions and put all the blame on the other person?