Get Rid of Those "Shoulds"

I challenge you to keep track, for one day, of how many times you use the word "should." Also notice how you feel after you make a "should" statement. Does it make you feel better about what you're currently doing, or worse? When frequent "shoulds" dominate your thoughts, you are likely to feel stressed and frustrated by the end of the day, as though you had a loud inner critic sitting on your shoulder all day, ignoring what you did accomplish and pointing out only what you did not achieve. That's enough to make a person angry!

When you catch yourself using the word "should," replace it with the words "want to." The entire tone of the sentence changes. My guess is that you'll be more motivated to find a way to do something you "want to" do rather than something you "should" do. For example, if you tell yourself, "I should be making more money at this stage in my life," you're blaming yourself or others for your current situation, and blame leads to anger. Instead, telling yourself, "I want to be making more money at this stage in my life" opens the door for some creative thinking about how you might accomplish that. Changing just one word can change your perspective.