Is Anger Destroying Your Life?

People tend to wait to get help with their anger until they've experienced a crisis: their intimate partner has threatened to leave them, or has already left; their boss has threatened to fire them, or they've already lost their job to anger. Before they're brought to their knees by the crisis, they ignore the warning signs. Although their angry episodes had been getting more frequent, they blamed the people around them for being more annoying. When they blew things out of proportion, they attributed it to being overwhelmed and stressed by daily hassles. They had stopped talking to several friends, but convinced themselves that the friends deserved it because of things they had said or done. Verbal or physical aggression had begun to accelerate, but they told themelves that if the other person had not made them angy they would not have lost control. Finally, they ignored or minimized the comments made by their partner or their boss about their anger problem -- until the crisis occured, and they realized they needed help.

If you see your behavior reflected in any of these signs of problem anger, get help before you reach a crisis. Start to listen to the people closest to you when they tell you that you have a problem, or that your behavior is hurtful. Begin to keep an anger log, and see whether you can notice any common threads running through your incidents of anger. Stop blaming others for "making" you angry, and begin to take responsibility for your behavior when you become angry. Find a good anger management book, and commit to reading it and following its suggestions. If that doesn't work, find a professional who specializes in anger management. If you wait too long, the damage to your relationships and your life may be irreparable.